How to Make Friends in Japan: And Why Sushi Might Not Be the Best Conversation Starter

Making friends in a foreign country can be both exciting and challenging, especially in a culturally rich and unique place like Japan. While the process may seem daunting at first, understanding the nuances of Japanese culture and social norms can significantly ease the journey. Here are some detailed strategies to help you build meaningful friendships in Japan.

1. Learn the Language

• Basic Japanese Phrases: Even a basic understanding of Japanese can go a long way. Simple greetings like “Konnichiwa” (Hello) and “Arigatou” (Thank you) can show respect and willingness to engage.
• Language Exchange: Participate in language exchange meetups. These are great opportunities to practice Japanese while helping others with your native language.

2. Understand Cultural Etiquette

• Politeness and Respect: Japanese culture places a high value on politeness and respect. Bowing, using honorifics, and being mindful of personal space are crucial.
• Gift-Giving: Bringing a small gift, or “omiyage,” when visiting someone’s home is a thoughtful gesture that can help break the ice.

3. Join Social Groups and Clubs

• Hobby-Based Groups: Whether it’s a sports club, a book club, or a cooking class, joining groups that align with your interests can help you meet like-minded individuals.
• International Associations: Many cities in Japan have international associations that organize events and activities for foreigners and locals alike.

4. Frequent Local Establishments

• Izakayas: These Japanese pubs are social hubs where people gather to eat, drink, and chat. Visiting the same izakaya regularly can help you become a familiar face.
• Cafes and Libraries: Quiet places like cafes and libraries can also be good spots to strike up conversations, especially if you frequent them often.

5. Utilize Social Media and Apps

• Meetup and Facebook Groups: These platforms often have groups dedicated to expats and locals looking to make new friends.
• Language Learning Apps: Apps like HelloTalk and Tandem not only help with language learning but also provide opportunities to connect with locals.

6. Be Patient and Persistent

• Building Trust: Japanese people may take time to open up, but once they do, the friendships can be deep and lasting.
• Consistency: Regularly attending social events and maintaining contact with new acquaintances can help solidify friendships.

7. Participate in Festivals and Local Events

• Cultural Festivals: Attending local festivals, or “matsuri,” can provide a fun and relaxed environment to meet people.
• Seasonal Events: Events like cherry blossom viewing (hanami) in spring or fireworks festivals in summer are great opportunities to socialize.

8. Volunteer

• Community Service: Volunteering for local causes can help you meet people who share similar values and interests.
• Disaster Relief: Japan is prone to natural disasters, and participating in relief efforts can be a meaningful way to connect with the community.

9. Be Open-Minded and Respectful

• Cultural Differences: Embrace and respect cultural differences. Showing genuine interest in Japanese culture can help bridge gaps.
• Flexibility: Be open to new experiences and ways of thinking. Flexibility can make you more approachable and likable.

10. Follow Up and Stay Connected

• Regular Check-Ins: After meeting someone, follow up with a message or a call to show that you value the connection.
• Social Media: Adding new friends on social media can help maintain the relationship, even if you don’t see each other often.

Related Q&A

Q: How important is it to learn Japanese before moving to Japan? A: While it’s possible to get by with English in major cities, learning Japanese can significantly enhance your experience and help you build deeper connections with locals.

Q: Are there any cultural faux pas I should avoid when trying to make friends in Japan? A: Yes, avoid being overly familiar too quickly, such as using first names without permission. Also, be mindful of topics that might be considered too personal or controversial.

Q: What are some good conversation starters when meeting new people in Japan? A: Talking about shared interests, recent local events, or asking for recommendations on places to visit or eat can be good conversation starters.

Q: How can I find language exchange partners in Japan? A: You can find language exchange partners through apps like HelloTalk, local community boards, or by attending language exchange meetups.

Q: Is it common for Japanese people to invite foreigners to their homes? A: It’s less common compared to some other cultures, but it can happen, especially if you’ve built a strong relationship. Always be respectful and considerate if invited.